Another Hole in my Heart

We played a game of cards
I knew it from the start
The rules were very clear
The prize was my own heart

Card by card was laid
And tension filled the air
But little did I know
You were not playing fair

You tried to take this gal
A kind and caring soul
And change this housewife, sweet
Into your dirty hoe

So here the jokes on me
I should have known it’s true
How dare I trust a man
Another hole, Yahoo!


Invisible

They’re listening, but they cannot hear me
I’m screaming and crying so loud
The proud hustles past
The first and the last
They scurry and just overcrowd

They’re looking, but they cannot see me
I’m jumping and waving my hands
They stand all around
And don’t make a sound
It’s as if I am nothing but sand

They’re searching, but they cannot find me
And yet I am right in their way
They say, “Are you there?”
And I answer with care
But they pass me much to my dismay

They meet me, but never will know me
The person I am deep inside
I hide and I wait
Til I find my soulmate
And everyone knows that I tried


Again

For the first time in almost forever
Somebody looked at my soul
And bypassed the failures and weakness
To find out that I was pure gold

My costumes and masks didn’t phase him
He saw me for just who I was
His smile and his laughter completed my day
And I found my heart singing for him

He slowly pried my heart open
Whispering lovely delights
And reached deep inside to touch all the scars
Where others had taken their bites

And just when I took a deep breath
And relaxed and started to trust
He took a big knife and plunged it inside
And twisted until I was dust

So what can be done as I lay here
The wall must be put up again
The barricades must never be coaxed away
Not for the grandest of men


Kevin

I’ve been wandering now for a quite many years,
Mostly I’ve stumbled in dark.
I’ve tripped over beautiful, pretty and plain.
None have deserved a remark.

And just at the moment my body was worn,
I tripped on a damaged, old soul.
Under my breath, I scoffed at the sight
And brushed him back under the knoll.

It wasn’t a minute ’til I turned around
Examining him once again
That I noticed his hands were worn to the bone
And his face showed more lines than most men.

He said with a voice in a kind, gentle way
“Please hammer the last coffin nail.
For I am not worth but the dust where I lay
And I have a sad, lonely tale.

“A lifetime ago, I was sturdy and young
Enough that the crowds would all stare.
I picked a fair maiden and built her a castle
And bought her the fine things to wear.

“She took all my years, my wealth and my tears
And left me with two empty hands.
I’m old and I’m grey, and here’s where I lay
And now I’m a shell of a man.”

But what I could see was what others had passed.
His heart that was made of pure gold…
Granted, it’s hidden with dirt and some grime
And some tarnish that came with the cold.

His heart was in pieces, and some on the ground
Were scattered where he couldn’t find.
I tried to assist and gathered them up
Then asked him if he wouldn’t mind

Walking beside me while I shuffled on
The path that I wandered upon.
He said he would gladly, and got to his feet.
We walked in the warmth of the sun.

The miles that we walked seemed to lighten each day…
The effortless laughter and smiles!
He told me his story, and I told him mine,
Assembling his heart all the while.

I knew I could trust him and opened my chest
To show him my own shattered heart.
He winked and he hugged me and pulled me up close
And pulled out an old, rusty dart.

But then came a day where the path merged to two
And he needed to go to the right.
He let go my hand and waved once again.
Holding back tears was a fight.

I found that my strength was returned as I went
To the left as I needed to go.
But, I’ll tell you a secret if you want to hear,
If you promise to not tell him so.

I took this one piece of my own shattered heart
And put it where his piece was gone
So that he could hold his head high once again
And remember the tune of his song.

But as I looked down at my once shattered mess
Thinking that I was so smart,
I found all my holes were not holes anymore…
He fixed it with parts of his heart.


The End

I want him to watch as I walk in the room,
And see no one else but just me.
I want him to study the shape of my hand
As he touches it delicately.
I want him to fein at the sound of my voice
And hang on my lips as I talk.
I want him to ache when I leave for a bit
And let me hold on as I walk.
I want him to reach out to me in the night
Wanting me ever so close.
I want him to giggle forgetting the hours
I want him to love me the most.
I want him to see every crack on my face
And see every scar in my heart.
But act like I’m perfect and smile with his eyes
And swear we will not be apart.
And then I awoke from my fairytale dream
And recalled that there never has been
Someone who’s loved me or came even close.
I’m alone and that’s it. The End.


Fit

Fit into this box, they say,
They push my head on down.
Now carry this and now balance on that
Perk up, don’t you dare wear a frown!

Run just a little bit farther.
Push just a little bit more.
Don’t forget Tuesday and pull it together
Make sure that you lock all the doors.

Why can’t you be a bit taller?
Your clothes are not perfect tonight.
Bend over farther, now speak even louder
Are you trying to do it just right?

I want to just go far away.
Take the burdens and put down the load
Disappear into nothing, escape what is real
But I can’t find the magical road.


Merry Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a screen was illumined, no keyboards or mouse.
The stockings and lights are still packed away
No one had money to fund a display.
The children are gone in their cars as they went
My dreams were disrupted [so fast as they spent] [by D and B]
As they left me alone all snuggled in bed
They made enough noise to wake up the dead.
When up on the roof I heard such a clatter,
It’s only the squirrels, they’ve gotten much fatter.
The moon has stopped shining sixteen hours ago,
For I stayed up late with my laptop aglow.
There wasn’t a reason to wake up on time.
No presents were wrapped, I haven’t a dime.
The cats thought the day should be special indeed,
They left me some puke, “Oh that’s what I need!”
I went back to bed, and Zero came with.
And all day we sat, the whole twenty-fifth.
So all of you people on facebook I see
With your happy kids smiling and such lovely trees,
I’m here all alone with no one in sight,
I may as well go to bed for the night.


My Pain

Does no one see the pain I bear?
Is it that they just don’t care?
Here I sit in agony
While they smile rejoicingly
Can’t they turn around and look
And see the joyfulness they took?
Don’t they see that as I cry
A piece inside me wants to die?
Sometimes one will glance behind
And stop and be a little kind
But never stay to help the pain
I seem to lose but never gain
If only one would turn around
And free me from the chains I’m bound
A happy person I would be
But that day I’ll never see


My Eyes

Look in my eyes and you will see
The anger and furry that swells up in me
You’ll see all the hatred and pain and fear
You’ll see not a person who is even near
Can look very hard but you’ll never find
One single person that is always kind
Something that you’ll never see in my eyes
Although my appearance throws up a disguise
Happiness never is truly inside
Security, peacefulness never abides
Nothing is happy that’s found in my eyes
Might as well be like the rest and pass by