Weird Guys

The dating pool is scare enough, but I had 2 encounters recently that took me for a loop.

Guy 1. B
I matched with him on a dating site. We chatted for a few weeks, he seemed interesting or at least worth the time to go on a date, so I accepted his invitation to go on a date. We walked down main street of a little town near him. We ate at a cute little bar. I hugged him and thanked him for the date. We continued to text occasionally over the next 2 weeks. He messaged me on a Friday asking if we could get a hotel room Sunday night. (we live 2 hours away) I told him I wasn’t comfortable meeting someone at a hotel. I told him I didn’t mind hanging out and watching a movie with him, but I would guarantee that if his goal was to get me into bed, he was wasting his time. He said that wasn’t his aim at all and we continued texting. After thinking about it again, I text him the next day I wasn’t comfortable meeting him at a hotel and my answer was no.
The next day, I got a text from him telling me that I’m easy and I fuck everyone and that I’m a cum dumpster. He also informed me that he would be blocking me because I was just too much to deal with.
Think about this ladies and gentlemen, I made it clear I was uncomfortable going to a hotel with him, and I’m the easy, slut, cum dumpster. There is no better definition of irony.

Guy 2. J
I also matched with him on a dating site. We chatted for a couple weeks and he asked me out. I was genuinely interested. We went out for an early afternoon dinner and had a great talk. We were still talking a few hours later and decided to go see a movie. Through talking on the way home from the movie, I noticed some red flags (he is a hoarder! like the kind on the tv shows). I hugged him and told him I had a great time and said goodnight. We continued to text over the next 2 weeks, but I made no effort to see him since I wasn’t interested in a 2nd date.
Then my recent car accident happened. I asked a friend to tow my car to my house. He couldn’t, so I paid a tow truck. I called around and found and bought a rim from a salvage yard. I called around and found a bought a tire for the rim. Three’s car also needed brakes, so I had him call around to get an appointment somewhere. Every place he called was saying they either couldn’t or could in a few weeks. Hoping to get them done sooner, I contacted a few friends. Shannon said she had a neighbor that maybe could do them. Dan said that he would call his friend and get back to me. Then I remembered J. He doesn’t have a job and he seemed handy. So I called him and offered him the brake job on my son’s car. I told him my son would buy whatever parts he’d say he needed and pay him for replacing them.
His answer…. “It’s too soon”
I thought he was meaning it was too early in the day. He said that that’s not it.
It’s too soon for you to be depending on me.
Say what? I told him if he didn’t want to get paid to do a job, just say no. But I certainly am not depending on him to get a brake job done. I have plenty of other people I can ask and pay.

Moral of the story…. Guys on dating sites are duds.


Invisible

They’re listening, but they cannot hear me
I’m screaming and crying so loud
The proud hustles past
The first and the last
They scurry and just overcrowd

They’re looking, but they cannot see me
I’m jumping and waving my hands
They stand all around
And don’t make a sound
It’s as if I am nothing but sand

They’re searching, but they cannot find me
And yet I am right in their way
They say, “Are you there?”
And I answer with care
But they pass me much to my dismay

They meet me, but never will know me
The person I am deep inside
I hide and I wait
Til I find my soulmate
And everyone knows that I tried


Again

For the first time in almost forever
Somebody looked at my soul
And bypassed the failures and weakness
To find out that I was pure gold

My costumes and masks didn’t phase him
He saw me for just who I was
His smile and his laughter completed my day
And I found my heart singing for him

He slowly pried my heart open
Whispering lovely delights
And reached deep inside to touch all the scars
Where others had taken their bites

And just when I took a deep breath
And relaxed and started to trust
He took a big knife and plunged it inside
And twisted until I was dust

So what can be done as I lay here
The wall must be put up again
The barricades must never be coaxed away
Not for the grandest of men


The End

I want him to watch as I walk in the room,
And see no one else but just me.
I want him to study the shape of my hand
As he touches it delicately.
I want him to fein at the sound of my voice
And hang on my lips as I talk.
I want him to ache when I leave for a bit
And let me hold on as I walk.
I want him to reach out to me in the night
Wanting me ever so close.
I want him to giggle forgetting the hours
I want him to love me the most.
I want him to see every crack on my face
And see every scar in my heart.
But act like I’m perfect and smile with his eyes
And swear we will not be apart.
And then I awoke from my fairytale dream
And recalled that there never has been
Someone who’s loved me or came even close.
I’m alone and that’s it. The End.


Fit

Fit into this box, they say,
They push my head on down.
Now carry this and now balance on that
Perk up, don’t you dare wear a frown!

Run just a little bit farther.
Push just a little bit more.
Don’t forget Tuesday and pull it together
Make sure that you lock all the doors.

Why can’t you be a bit taller?
Your clothes are not perfect tonight.
Bend over farther, now speak even louder
Are you trying to do it just right?

I want to just go far away.
Take the burdens and put down the load
Disappear into nothing, escape what is real
But I can’t find the magical road.


Merry Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a screen was illumined, no keyboards or mouse.
The stockings and lights are still packed away
No one had money to fund a display.
The children are gone in their cars as they went
My dreams were disrupted [so fast as they spent] [by D and B]
As they left me alone all snuggled in bed
They made enough noise to wake up the dead.
When up on the roof I heard such a clatter,
It’s only the squirrels, they’ve gotten much fatter.
The moon has stopped shining sixteen hours ago,
For I stayed up late with my laptop aglow.
There wasn’t a reason to wake up on time.
No presents were wrapped, I haven’t a dime.
The cats thought the day should be special indeed,
They left me some puke, “Oh that’s what I need!”
I went back to bed, and Zero came with.
And all day we sat, the whole twenty-fifth.
So all of you people on facebook I see
With your happy kids smiling and such lovely trees,
I’m here all alone with no one in sight,
I may as well go to bed for the night.